The dock was buzzing with activity as is the usual case on Wednesday afternoons as the Hollywell sailing fleet prepares for that evening’s Twilight racing series event (not to be confused with some vampire sucking teen flick of a similar name). The crack and experienced crew of Daytona, an Etchell class 30′ foot racing boat, was just lowered into the water when a yelp and cry of concern was heard across hardstand from the able Executive Officer of Daytona2.
Wayne Moran, Daytona’s Executive Officer and Dive Master3, was securing the lifting straps underneath the cockpit floorboards when he was struck, without provocation, by an unseen but vicious predator hiding in the darkness of the 8 inches of space between cockpit floor and the hull.
The wound was extensive as some gathering onlookers gasped at the sight of the blood dripping from the this brave sailor’s hand4. Was it a huge rabid rottweiler? Was it a deadly coastal taipan snake? These possibilities were quickly discounted as a dog of a rottweiler size would not fit in the 8 inch under floorboard gap and snakes don’t growl shortly before attacking as this unknown predator did. The mystery was soon solved with the appearance of an aggressive rogue possum’s head peering out of the lower space (see attached images).
”How are we going to get this thing out of my nice clean boat” exclaimed the captain and owner of Daytona, Peter ‘cleanliness is next to godliness’ Yeomans5. The quick thinking hero of this tale, Daytona’s Executive Officer, went off to grab the hardstands hose and handed it back down to the ashen faced Captain. In an instant the decision was made by this fearless Captain to make a field promotion of Daytona’s Executive Officer and Dive Master to that of ‘Chief Wildlife Officer’. The hose was handed back to Wayne with the instruction to “get that thing off my #?/*!!!! boat!” and stop dripping blood everywhere.
Our hero flew straight into action like a startled possum6, launching a tirade of water into the under deck gap. This forced the predator into the open and to crawl up the spinnaker bag up onto the foredeck and then into the jib which was hanked to the forestay but not hauled up. Further yelps of anguish burst forward as the Captain of Daytona realised the predator had crawled into the flaked jib, possibly doing untold/unclean things to his nice clean and crisp yarn tempered foresail. Our hero leapt forward and, with no thought of his own safety, wrestled the beast to the dock.
But the stowaway was not finished with Daytona. The unruly predator had leapt for its perceived safety on the pontoon and then, with a side step that would do Alphie Langer proud, inadvertently leaped back onto Daytona where its newly minted Chief Wildlife Officer again risked life and limb to grab the intruder and again place it gently back onto the dock. With audible coaching by the then gathered hoards of rubber necking bystanders, of which investigations have not been concluded as to their part in the stowaway being on Daytona in the first place, the ‘Beast of Hollywell’ was corralled onto the dock and up the ramp, where it made for the freedom of the hardstand area and beyond to the trees at the front of Hollywell, to much applause and cheers from the gathered sailors. It has not been seen since, praise the Lord!!!!!
Daytona was delayed in its preparations for that afternoon’s race and did not get to adjust its standing rigging to match the conditions until well into the race. From a handicapped start of second last, and missing their usual third crew member “never on time” Viv who was more late than usual this day, missing the race entirely, Daytona went on to claim second across the line only 10 seconds in arrears of the winner. During the prize presentation later that evening the Captain of Daytona was heard saying, as he collected his prize of a dozen beers for 2nd: “if it wasn’t for that damn possum we would have got first and be drinking rum tonight!”.
Notes from the above text.
1 Warning, this entire article is written with tongue firmly in cheek.
2 While Etchells are 30′ long they only have a 22′ waterline and are usually crewed by only three thus an executive officer or 2nd in charge isn’t that much of an impressive position despite the Captains thoughts on this matter!
3 The Dive Master rank was earned when Wayne once unintentionally fell off Daytona during a race via a beautiful back flip with half pike!
4 The injury actually required only a single round band-aid.
5 Yes his surname really is Yeomans.
6 ‘flew’ might be a slight overstatement, given Wayne’s dicky knee and rather large ‘frame’.